My first STD was from a foam party
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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