I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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