new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
