youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
