i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
