I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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