Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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