Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
