i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
