So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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