I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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