i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize