i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
