do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
