How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
