I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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