I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She told me I should be a condom model.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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