I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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