I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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