You're so nebulous sometimes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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