We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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