Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm always down for nudity.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
