I wish I could teleport
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize