oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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