and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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