Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
