I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
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Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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