piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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