we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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