the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Damn victory sex feels great
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
