The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
