i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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