So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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