We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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