You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
ttyl tear gas
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
