Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
