in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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