And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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