Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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