Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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