what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize