:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
