I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
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I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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