A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So much Jack, so little girl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I smell like Dick and happiness
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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