the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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