Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
