yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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