I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
