i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
