there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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