is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
