do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
