im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
