sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
