Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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