I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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