super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
