Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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