the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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