I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
