yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
