When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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