i don't like sucking hair
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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