So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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